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14 June 2011 @ 04:39 am
R (F bomb) - GleeRPF: CrissColfer - We Should Practice 1/1  
Author: nondenomifan
Title: "We Should Practice"
Fandom: Glee RPF
Ship: CrissColfer
Rating: Hard profanity (F-bomb)
Genre: RPS...sort of? Read the warnings/summary and decide for yourself.
Word Count: Approx. 2900
Spoilers: SPOILERS: Up to and including "Original Song." If you haven't seen that and you don't want to be spoiled for what happened with Kurt and Blaine, you DEFINITELY don't want to read this or the warnings!!! WARNINGS: Male questioning sexuality and being reluctant to confide in a close friend. R-rating is there mostly for the F-bomb throughout and at least one G-dammit. There is male/male kissing (warning in place due to posting in non-slash communities).
Summary: Sure, Darren's kissed gay friends at parties when he was drunk off his ass, but he's never kissed a guy as an actor. It doesn't make a difference to him personally, but...he should probably practice at least once, just in case. He doesn't want to screw it up and look like a complete idiot.
Disclaimer: I don't know for sure that Darren's kissed his gay friends at parties; I've heard second hand that he has said this in a Q&A or an interview or some such. So, if I'm wrong about that, please know that I mean no defamation by it; nor do I mean any invasion of privacy or defamation of character by the rest of this story. I don't claim to know and would never presume to know what goes on in the minds or lives of Chris Colfer or Darren Criss; and I hope they know they have my utmost respect as two of the most talented individuals I've ever had the honor of watching on my television.
Feedback: Concrit and stroking are welcome. Flames will get R2-D2's CO2 spray in the face.
Author's note: Got this idea from watching and rewatching THAT SCENE. That, and...I'm working through some "issues" of my own...or, rather, I have but am waiting for something very specific to happen before I come out locally.
Distribution: If I'm a member of your archive, community, forum, group, etc., you can have it. Anyone else, comment with an invite. X-posted to: blaine_kurt, colfercriss_rpf, finn_who, glee_tv, gleefics, gleeslash, kurt_blaine, slash_world, the_1st_time.

Darren sat flipping through the week's script in the huge Airstream he shared with the other Warblers. No matter how many times he did so, he always involuntarily returned to that scene.

He was being stupid. He knew he was. It's not like he'd never kissed a guy before. He'd done it tons of times. It was no big deal. And Chris was a cool guy and a great friend...and a terrific actor. One of the best he'd ever worked with. God, sometimes he stole the scene. Darren chuckled and shook his head.

What the fuck am I so worried about? With that thought still in his mind, he stood, grabbed his script, and stepped out of the aluminum capsule and into the bright sun.

* * * * *

Chris was paging through his script when someone knocked on his trailer door. He looked up, then set the script aside to walk to the door and open it.

"Darren!" He stepped aside, waving his arm toward the inside of the trailer. "Come in. It's nice and cool in here."

Darren smiled and climbed the two steps into the Airstream. "Yeah. Just walking the length of three trailers is a killer. It's nasty out there."

"Oh, so you came from the Warblers' house of silver, then?"

Darren chuckled. "That I did."

Chris's eyes indicated Darren's hand. "I see you brought your script. I assume you've read it?"

Darren felt his face fall. Dammit! Now, he's going to think I have a problem with it! "Yeah. That's why I'm here."

Chris went to his sofa, sat, and picked up his discarded script. "Oh?" His eyes stayed on his script as he flipped idly through the pages.

Shit. He's on the defensive. Nice going, Darren. "Yeah. Mind if I--?" He gestured at a point on the sofa beside Chris.

"No, of course not," Chris replied, glancing his way, but not into his eyes, then adding, "unless you mind."

Okay, now Darren knew for sure he'd fucked up. He sat down and reached out to tug at Chris's elbow. "Chris, look at me."

Chris turned his head just enough to see Darren out of the corner of his eye.

"Come on, don't be like that--"

Chris whipped around. "Don't be like that? Me? What about you? Right along you've been saying you wouldn't have issues with Kurt and Blaine getting together because of where and how you were raised, but now that we're here, you're all...uptight about it!" He turned his back on Darren again.

"Hey." Darren reached for Chris's arm, but Chris shrugged him away. "I am not uptight."

Chris made a puffing noise with his lips and folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm not. I'm--I'm just a little nervous, okay?" He paused, trying to find the right words so he wouldn't piss Chris off any further. "Yeah, I said I was cool with it...and I am. It's no big deal, like I said a long time ago. It's just--God, this is embarrassing."

Chris glanced over his shoulder. "What? You have issues with halitosis?"

Darren let out a laugh, relieved at Chris's joke because that gave him hope his friend wasn't angry anymore.

"No, nothing that's going to do you any harm. It might me, though."

Chris turned to face him fully, then. "Just tell me, Darren."

"It's just--" He suddenly found a round piece of fuzz on the sofa's surface very interesting-- "I've never kissed a guy as an actor. I've done it lots of times fooling around with my gay friends when I'm drunk at parties, but--"

Chris's eyes were huge. "You fool around with your gay friends when you're drunk???"

Darren's eyes darted to his, screwing up his face in confusion. "I thought you--Oh! No, not that kind of fooling around. I mean...like...the goofing around kind of fooling around. Like, we were just being--well, I wouldn't say silly was the right word--"

"I get it." Chris nodded once. "So, you were saying something about the difference between that and this?" He gestured between their scripts.

Darren shifted a bit. "Um--Yeah. So, I've done it when everybody's all 'Ha, ha, ha,' laughing because the straight guy is kissing his gay friends...or, you know, vice-versa."

"Oh. My. God." Chris looked away again, his mouth twisted in disgust, every muscle in his body stiffening.

Darren decided to just keep talking this time, hoping his next words would redeem him.

"But, I was drunk and stupid when I was doing that." He paused, trying to determine if his words had any effect on Chris, positive or negative. Unable to do so, he continued. "Now, I've got this scene with a very serious, passionate first kiss, and it's very important to me that I get it right."

Chris turned around, but said nothing. His eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Darren couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing...or maybe a combination of the two. Maybe he could turn it into a purely good thing.

"So...I came here because...I think I should practice--we should practice." A pause, and then, "I should practice with you...because I have no idea how to kiss a guy like I mean it...and I want to."

Chris blinked a few times, his lashes absorbing the moisture from his eyes so the tears never fell. He smiled, then, and said quietly, "Did you happen to read the dialogue, or just the action in the scene?"

Darren cleared his throat and swallowed. "Well, when I saw the action, I just sorta skimmed over everything else."

Chris's smile grew. "Well, you basically repeated most of what Blaine says after the first kiss." He giggled a bit. "Your skimming must have been absorbed by your subconscious."

Darren huffed out a laugh. "Maybe." He turned serious again. "So...what do you think? Should we--Do you want to...practice?"

Chris's eyes were warm from the smile he gave Darren. "If it'll make you more comfortable with acting out the actual scene, sure."

Now that he knew Chris would help him with things, Darren's whole body relaxed. Boy, I'm really nervous about this. That he'd doubted Chris would help him in the first place made him feel like a total ass.

Chris replaced his own script on the table behind him and turned to Darren once more.

"So, how do you want to do this? With the lead-in dialogue or just the kiss?"

Darren blinked. Wow. That was blunt. He kicked himself. He's being professional...unlike you. GROW UP.

"Ummmm, let's try it with a little lead-in dialogue first."

Chris grinned. "You mean the dialogue you skimmed over?"

Darren glared at him. "Okay, gimme a minute. I think I can handle a sentence or two." He grabbed his script and studied it for a bit, then turned back to Chris. "Okay."

Chris blinked a couple times, and then this kind of...change came over his face, and he looked like he was sort of happy with Darren, sort of over-patient with him, and sort of hopeful.

Okay...guess he's in the zone.... Darren closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths through his nose, slowly releasing them through his mouth. When he opened his eyes again, he was looking right into Chris's, his eyes dark and warm.

Chris really had no idea where Darren planned to start, which actually made the scene more realistic for him. Okay, back to Kurt.

* * * * *

Blaine took Kurt's hand in his and held it between them. Kurt inhaled a quick, soft breath, his mouth curving upward slightly at the edges. Could this mean--?

"You move me, Kurt--" Kurt's heart skipped a beat-- "and this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you."

Kurt couldn't breathe. He couldn't...and yet here he was, breathing like he'd just seen Lady Gaga in person. And, the only thing that could be better than meeting her...

...was Blaine leaning tentatively but definitely toward him for--oh, yes, PLEASE--a kiss!

* * * * *

Darren leaned in slowly, his hand releasing Chris's, moving to cradle his cheek as their lips met. He kissed Chris with a thorough, open caress of his bottom lip, sucking it gently in an otherwise firm kiss. At first, Chris just opened his lips to receive the kiss, his own mouth around Darren's upper lip. Then his hand clapped against the hinge of Darren's jaw, taking him completely by surprise. Chris shifted his mouth, then, until he could better return the kiss, sucking and caressing Darren's lip much the same way Darren had done to his.

Somewhere in there, Darren lost his concentration on Blaine and began breathing hard on his own rather than in character...and, Oh. My. God. Am I actually getting a hard on?

Darren started to pull out of the kiss, but Chris followed, still holding onto his lips. Darren decided to cover for his...issues...and give the kiss some closure with a gentle push against Chris before closing his lips and pulling back.

That worked. Chris didn't try to continue the kiss any further.

He did, however, blink and stare like Darren was, in fact, his first kiss--either that or the best thing that had ever happened to him. "Whoa-ho-ho," he finally managed on a whisper of a breath.

Darren smiled and chuckled, grabbing his script and setting it in his lap, hoping he did so before Chris could notice what was going on in his pants.

"I take it I don't need anymore rehearsal?"

Chris gave him a wicked grin. "Oh, I wouldn't say that...."

Darren read some more of the script, and then glanced at Chris. "Now, who's quoting the script?" He turned, bending one leg so it was all the way on the couch. "What happened to hating being mistaken for your character?" His eyebrows raised, his eyes twinkling.

Chris giggled, blushing. "You don't have much room to talk." He glanced quickly southward, then returned his eyes to Darren's.

Darren felt himself grow warm from his chest to the top of his head, and he knew he was a dark red. He had completely forgotten himself in his teasing of Chris and had let the script fall away from his lap. Shit. Fuck! God damnit!


Chris patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay, Darren. From what I understand, it happens a lot. More than straight men would like to think." He turned and began to peruse his script casually. "Face it: Men are sluts. Especially the young ones." He turned back around to face Darren. "Care to take a peek at my lap?" He stared at Darren, who just looked at him like a deer in the middle of the road at night. Finally, Chris shrugged. "I didn't think so. Trust me, though, I'm in the same predicament."

Darren stared at him a moment longer, then reached out to cup his face again, searching his eyes. Chris's eyes opened wide briefly, then returned Darren's questioning gaze, doing nothing to push him away.

With a deep whine, Darren closed the gap between them, his lips fastening just as firmly on Chris's as they had when they were rehearsing the scene...but there was something different about this kiss; it felt more...free...like Darren put everything he had into it. But, was it because he no longer had any misgivings...or was it something more? Should Chris stop him? Did he want to stop him?

Darren tore his lips away from Chris's, breathing heavily. What the hell am I doing? "What the hell am I doing?"

Chris squinted at him. "I don't know, Darren. I'd really like to, though."

Darren's eyes widened, suddenly focusing on Chris. "Shit! Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes. Yes, you did."

Fuck. "Seriously, Chris, I don't know. I don't know what the fuck's going on right now. Like you said, maybe it's just hormones or something." His eyes darted around the small space, and he stood. "I--I should get back to the trailer," he said, aiming his thumb in the direction of the Warblers' Airstream. "We need to rehearse our songs, too. Get things all synced up."

Chris nodded, best poker face in place. "Right. I'll meet you all in the studio."

"Good." Darren nodded. "See you then." Without another word, he'd gone.

* * * * *

Much to Darren's relief, none of the guys had returned to the trailer from lunch, yet. He could just sit there and drive himself nuts wondering why kissing Chris made him so damned--God, he couldn't even put a name to the feelings and emotions. That had to be a bad sign.

Bad sign? Since when do you consider not being straight a bad thing? He put his face in his hands. Since when am I not straight? Jesus, FUCK, making love to a girl is one of my favorite things to do! He let out a humorless laugh. What guy's favorite thing isn't...? DUH. A gay guy's. A pause, and then, So...obviously, I'm not gay...so, what the hell am I?

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his iPhone. He poked at it a couple times, then waited as the rings passed. "Come on...please answer--"

"Hey, Darren, what's up?"

"Oh, thank God."

"You okay?"

"I don't know." He swallowed. "I mean, maybe. I mean, I'm all right either way, but--"

The voice on the other end laughed. "Okay, slow down. Start from the beginning."

"I kissed a guy."

"Okay...that's nothing new."

"No, I'm serious. I mean, really kissed him. And...I liked it. Like, it turned me on--gave me a hard on."

A moment of silence. "You like this guy?"

"I don't know." He paused for a beat. "I mean, we're friends. We've been friends for a while. Since I started on Glee."

"Oh, boy. Is he a co-worker?"

"Yeah." It was more of a plaintive groan than a word.

"This wouldn't be the guy playing the sweetheart your character's supposed to be working toward, is he?"

Another groaned "Yes."

"Was this kiss part of a scene?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Do you want my help or not?"

Darren sighed. "Okay, but if you tell anyone else--"

"Darren, you know me better than that. Was it?"

"Well...the first one was."

"The first one?"

"Yeah. We were rehearsing the kissing scene because I was worried I'd mess it up because...you know...I'd never kissed any guys as an actor, just you guys when I was drunk at your parties."

"What's the difference?"

"C'mon....Kissing someone when I'm drunk off my ass like it's all fun and games versus sharing a first kiss with a first love? And you can't see a difference?"

"Okay, so there's a difference. So, how'd the rehearsal go?"

"His eyes nearly popped out of his sockets--"

There was a loud burst of laughter from the other end of the conversation.

"It's not funny!"


"And I got a hard on. I tried to hide it with the script, but...then the script slipped, and he saw it."


"Yeah. And then--"

"And then?"

"And then he told me he was hard, too."

"That's not that rare, sweetie."

"I know. I mean, he said the same thing and said it bothers a lot of straight guys who have kissing scenes with other men, especially gay men, but it happens more often than not."

"That's true."

"But, then--and I have no clue how this happened, but...I was kissing him again...and, I'll be damned if I wasn't acting. I wasn't. And, it just--I wanted it. I wanted it in my heart."

"Wanted what?"

"I--I don't know. Just...it."

"And, you say you guys are friends?"


"How close?"

"I don't know. We spend a lot of time together--I mean, a lot of my 'spare time,' ha-ha. We like a lot of the same things. We tell each other a lot of things I know I don't tell anyone else and he probably doesn't, either.


"What's that mean?"

"Well, it sounds to me like you love this guy."

"What?" Darren stared at his phone like it had told him he owed money before his call could continue. "Dude, I am not gay."

"Who said anything about being gay?"

"Well, how else can I be in love with a guy?"

"Okay, Mr. U of M smarty. I'm going to give you a minute to think about the last few things we said and see what happens." With that, Darren's friend fell silent.

Darren plopped down on the trailer's sofa, the hand holding his iPhone flopping down to lay on his leg. He sat and thought and processed what had been said.


"There you go."

"No way." It was an expression of disbelief rather than of denial.

"How else do you explain it?"

"I don't know. I--"

"Darren, you called me to ask me for advice, or my opinion, or whatever...and that's what I have for you." There was a long pause before he finished with, "You take it and do what you want with it. I've got to get back to work. Take care of yourself, sweetie." Darren's phone beep-booped to let him know the call had ended.

"Nice." He tossed his phone at the opposite end of the sofa. "Shit." He put his face in his hands, elbows on his knees, and then ran his hands up through his hair. "What the hell am I going to do?"

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